Those were days when I feel guilty about my actions. I was someone who was looking for a way to “fit in”. I tried to please everyone and to be liked by them. Then sometimes, I took a break, alone in a beautiful place to figure everything out. Then I realized why I was trying to fit in when I am born to stand out. Then I started believing in myself and loving myself. You know today I am my favorite. I give damn what others think or judge about me.
These days, I have less. Less friends, less acquaintances. But I smile every single morning when I wake up, and I smile every single night when I go to bed. Because I quit wishing and I started believing. I started believing myself building myself up. I made a wall around myself and posted a sign board “Wrong people aren’t allowed”. They are like viruses to hurt you down, to crack you down and ultimately to criticize anyway”. I learn to laugh often and much to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children,to appreciate the beauty , to find best in others, to leave the world a bit better, to leave my bathroom a little cleaner going in than going out. I have learned one life has breathed easier because I have lived, to love one who love me and ignore who don’t. I won the fear.
In a world full of expecting something from us I learn to please myself. I learn to be optimistic. Confidence doesn’t come from not fearing, it comes from accepting fear and moving on. It leads to be optimistic. Optimism develops confidence that eventually results success.Pessimist always complains about the problem whereas an optimist tries to find the solution for it. An opimist can create a new way whereas pessimist doesn’t see any way.
Optimism does have positive influence on other also.Once, there were two business partners. Unluckily,one partner lost 2 billions in share. So, he felt very guilty and couldnt face his partner. He even tried of winding up his life for that huge loss. Surprisingly his partner came and thanked him that he lost only 2 billions and further added if there were other, they would have lost further more. These positive words influenced that depressed partner so much that he toiled himself and made the business in profit instantly. Finally, their business became opulent.
I learnt not to give up on things that I believe. If we have confidence in ourselves even we cann move mountain. Impossible is just a word like age is just a number. Sometimes people produce result simply because they don’t know something is impossible. There is a story of a young man who fell asleep during his math class. He woke up as the bell rang, looked up at the blackboard and quickly copied two problems that were there. He thought they were the homework. He went home and labored all day and night. He couldn’t figure out either one, but he kept trying for weeks and finally he got answer to one and brought to the class. The teacher was absolutely stunned. It turned out the problem he’d solved was supposedly unsolvable. If he had known that he probably wouldn’t have solved it.
Above all, I learn to love myself. If I don’t , who else will? If I am lost or alone or sinking like a stone, I just carry on. I just listen, smile, agree and then do whatever I am gonna do anyway no matter it scares me or not, I will just do it.
Aryal is a freelance writer.
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