It was Bob Marley who declared: “Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I’m not perfect — and I don’t live to be — but before you start pointing fingers…make sure your hands are clean!”
We are raised with this principle in social etiquette – Don’t judge others. But most of us judge others. According to psychological today, it is impossible to meet someone and make zero internal judgments about them. Judgments are expectations based on pre-programed mindsets or scripts, and yes when it comes to race we call them stereotypes.
Women are often judged by the society on various aspects. When it comes to gender, double standards still exist in our society and it’s common for people and society to judge mens’ and women’s behavior by different standards.
Every woman has a past. Some were abused by fathers. Some were physically abused. Some had menstrual problems. Some had messed up love stories. Some had been forced into sex in the name of love. Some had been drugged. Some were date raped. Some had been blackmailed by their ex-boyfriend. Some were in an abusive relationship. Some had an obesity issue. Some had financial problems. Some had drug or alcohol addiction. Some had suicide attempts. Some had depression.
You don’t realise what it’s like to walk in their shoes. If you can’t encourage, don’t even insult and judge too.
The most influential people are connectors, leaders not the one who judge. Get rid of the judgement treadmill and train your opinions towards something that helps others, instead of hinders them. Sri Chinmoy rightly says “Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest.”